Okay, I'm about to be negative about something that really bugs me…negativity.
One of the "gifts of cancer" for me (yep, there are gifts) has been an awareness of just how precious each and every minute, hour and day is. I'm really conscious of how many of us spend our time complaining about things that are so unimportant when you really think about it. It's just wasted time. I'm choosing not to be around people that always have a negative attitude. I've learned it's okay to choose who I want to be around and who I don't. I'm pretty proud of myself about it too. Life is just too damn short and too precious to waste time around those that make me feel bad/sad. I can't always stay away because after all this isn't a perfect world and even my family and friends can be negative sometimes, but I certainly can choose to make my time short when they are constantly being critical or negative. This doesn't mean I don't care about real issues, it's just the little things that people criticize about that really grate on my nerves. I hate being around someone who complains about other people and talks badly about them. It makes me wonder what they say about me when they're with the very people they complain about to me. I'm finding that now I look at things differently and try to understand why someone does what they do and usually there's a reason…maybe not what I would do, but it's their life. I don't want to be around people who only see the bad in people and are suspicious of someone who is different. I'm trying hard to be positive and I don't want their negativity to rub off on me. And it does…because then I start feeling negative about them and frustrated and angry about their negativity. Life isn't perfect, but it's pretty darn perfect compared to so many others. All you have to do is read the paper or watch the news to know just how lucky most of us are. I'm realizing this more and more. I don't want to fill my head with negativity. I don't want to end up a bitter old lady who spends her day complaining and missing out on each wonderful day.
I read recently about an engraved plaque in the catacombs of Paris which says:
Beware every morning that you may not last the day and every evening that you may not last the night.
Some might think this is a morbid or negative way to think. I think it's a wonderful reminder that each day is precious and we need to be thankful.
(Sorry….It's just that I've been around a number of negative people lately and I've found myself boiling inside whenever I do. I woke up early this morning, filled with thoughts about the whole thing and practicing in my head what I'd love to say to them, but know I shouldn't. I just couldn't sleep. Rather than open my mouth and get in trouble, I thought I would put it down on "paper" to get it off my chest and then move on.)
10 comments:
I'm sorry, what is this post about again?!
;-) Just kidding!
I agree with you. I had a friend once that only said negative things about everything and everyone and I finally just stopped hanging around her. She's since divorced and even more negative (if that's possible)now than she was before!
You're right, life is TOO SHORT for that!
I SOOOOO agree with you!! I could go on and on with this subject too, but you did it for me!
Actually, it seems that the way the Lord has chosen to tame the negative and critical spirit in me is by giving me people to know and love whose life experiences are far different from mine. It's hard to be negative and critical of people when you understand their journey in life, which often includes struggle and pain.
Great post. That quote is very true and I have said and thought that very thing numerous times myself, just using different words. It doesn't take but a little bit of life to realize that none of us know what a day can hold! I hope it helped to get your thoughts down on 'paper.' They were definitely worth sharing!
Great post, and I agree 100% that each day is a gift from God. I take a Polyanna approach to life, playing the 'glad game' whenever I have a negative situation... like when something breaks, I'm glad I get a new one :O). It works well for my 16 year old daughter too.
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I agree! I recently started to think more about this and when I start to feel negative about people/things, I make a conscious effort to list all the positives I can think of to combat it. Our attitude is a reflection of our heart and I'd venture to say that we're all in need of that reminder from time to time. Thanks for the reminder today :)
I'm sure you've heard the quote: "If you can't say something nice about someone...come sit by me.":) Seriously, though, I agree with you. I just don't want to listen to it anymore. We all have things we could complain about, and sometimes we have to, but to complain about everything...it just gets old. And I know people like that. They are just not in my circle of buddies anymore. Sometimes I just want to say,"I can match you and pass you with hard luck stories, but why? Let's talk about the blessings instead."
Several years ago when I was in the midst of a big drama put on by our church(I was the director), I had a run in with MS. Negative, her self. She was complaining that I wasn't treating her children fairly, because they were marching in at the end of the procession and didn't get to be on the stage as long as the other kids. Can you believe it? I tried to be diplomatic and smooth her ruffled feathers, and build her up and all that stuff. She came back with, You just have your favorites, and those are the ones you let come in first." Forgetting my resolve to be the bigger person, and do the right thing...I lost it. I did...right there in church..in practice...in front of the whole cast of about 100 people. I looked at her and said,"-----,if I was you, I would just thank God that your children are in this program, that they have health and strength. Because my deepest wish is that my son could be a part of this, but he is home...too sick to be out of bed and too weak to even walk down the aisle. And he'll probably never get to be in another program." She stared at me for a few seconds, and then she turned around and went and sat down and did not say another word. I never heard another complaint from her, and her children were always there, in every program.
Maybe I shouldn't have handled it that way, but sometimes I think we just have to set things right.
Well...you GO Tonja...that was a great reply! I'm proud of you, even if it was several years ago!
Ah, the Emotional Vampires of the world. Wish they only came out when I was safely tucked into my bed each night. Imagine how wonderful the day would be without them sucking all your goodness from you.
Woo-hoo, Tonja!! That was a GREAT answer. I'm proud of you too!
What a fantastic post. I love how you used part of the cancer as a "gift". You have such a great attitude! It is too bad that everyone can't see life the same way.
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